Dear Ollie,

How are you already one? This year went by so fast. Everyone told me it would, but it was so hard to believe that in those early days and weeks when each day blurred into the next with the round-the-clock feedings, challenges with breastfeeding, figuring out how to get you to sleep, worrying about messing you up… Back then, keeping you up for 45 minutes seemed like so long! Now you can easily & happily play for 4-5 hours. Amazing what one year can do.

Ollie, we love you so much. Sooooo much. It is our delight to watch you grow, watch you laugh and smile, see you pick up new things, see you develop preferences and attachments. Every little thing is so special to us because we know and remember so clearly the days when you were just a newborn baby, unable to do anything for yourself. A mother’s love is so different from anything I have ever experienced in the past… I want to protect you so fiercely but give you the space to learn and grow on your own. There is such a delicate balance.

I can appreciate and understand my parents better through my own journey through parenthood–all those times I criticized them in my heart, I can see that they were just trying their best. We are trying our best too. I know we will fail and there will inevitably be misunderstandings, conflict, anger and hurt, but I hope you will know that we always love you, we’re always trying our best for you, and we’d give up the world for you.

You are still so young… you have yet to say “mama”, or to take your first steps. But one day, we hope that you will come to know Jesus, that He will reign in your heart and be supreme in your life. Jesus is the answer to all of life’s heartaches, pains, fears, griefs and hardships. In Him you can have true and lasting joy, peace, hope and purpose. We know our testimony is weak and inconsistent, but we hope through the years that you can see Jesus in us.

We love you to the moon and back! Can’t wait to see what year two holds for us. :)

Love, M&P