The past couple weeks have been gloomy — both the actual weather, and internally in my heart. Feels like a thick blanket of fog that will not lift. Thankful for my husband who loves me for better or for worse, cares tenderly for me, and seeks to understand me.

For the past couple months, I’ve slowly been making my way through Polishing God’s Monuments by Jim Andrews. Sharon sent me her old copy as a thoughtful gift when I was up in San Jose last time (very lovely packaging that made me smile):

Last night I read a chapter about Jeremiah and his own battle through depression & hardship. I’ve always liked the name Jeremiah, but I love it more after reading about his faithfulness & steadfastness through affliction. He felt abandoned, hopeless, lonely, and defeated (Lamentations 3: 1-20), feelings that are not foreign to me either. But in verse 21, he wrote:

“But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope. The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.”

It’s a difficult practice to “call to mind”, to recall, to remember, when all my feelings urge me to do just the opposite. My heart is naturally inclined toward self-pity and sorrow, hopelessness and despair, but dwelling on those thoughts only drive me deeper downward. Jeremiah, in the midst of persecution and affliction, went against his natural inclinations & called to mind the steadfast love of the Lord. And in that truth, he found hope to restore his soul.

That truth was what I needed to be reminded of. He will never leave me to face my sufferings alone, He will always pull me out of the pit, and He will always love me. There is no sign of the fog lifting anytime soon, but for the moment, I’m finding hope and comfort in the testimony of Jeremiah.

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